OLD SYSTEM:
Under the old system, the stages are as follows:
- Ikpa Obubo
- Anam Abia
- Amari ulo
- Atogbo Nku
- Inyo ozi or Ahia ozi
- Ime Eku – (Adoba eju mai)
After determining that there is a bright future for their conjugal union, the suitor breaks the ice by proposing marriage to the girl, to which she gives her consent. She then tells the man to make his intentions known to her father. However, the girl’s father must have time to consider the proposal.
The suitor at this point discloses his plan to his parents who, in most cases, make enquiries about the character of the girl’s parents’ and their lineage. If the lineage is of good repute, they encourage the union and if otherwise, they will repudiate the idea. But this is rare. The consent of both parties accelerates the anxiety of the suitor and induces him to move to the first stage known as “Ikpa Obubo” – Conversation.
Amari Ulo
The story is told of a suitor who delegated representatives to take items of marriage (wine and fish) to the home of his late father-in-law’s brother (prospective in-law) at Ezi Agbo, Mgbom, Afikpo. The purpose of the visit was to make his intentions known to his prospective in-law. After some enquiries, the representatives found the house they were looking for and were received by the prospective in-law. Following the usual presentation and consumption of kola nut, the matter of marriage as is the custom in Afikpo, was introduced. Because of the abnormal approach to the issue, the prospective in-law was infuriated and, in a fit of anger, drove the suitor’s representatives out of his house. He was aggrieved by the fact that the suitor had not known his house previously before coming to perform marriage rites for his “‘daughter.” People, of course, agreed with him.
The suitor’s representatives went home and narrated their ordeal to him. After due consultation, the suitor and his representatives returned the prospective in-law’s home. They came with wine and a stick of dried fish and apologized. They told the man that they had come to know his house formally and officially. He should therefore accept them as the suitor of his “daughter.” With joy the man received them warmly. He gave consent to their request. This done, he gave them permission to carry on any other ceremonies in respect of the marriage without any hesitation. This act became a routine among men of his status. Later, it extended to daughters whose parents are alive and continued until it metamorphosed into a traditional marriage rite, baptized, “Amari Ulo” (knowing the house). So the use of fish or stock fish and wine became the basic process of “Amari Ulo” marriage ceremony.
Atogbo Nku (Dropping of Fire Wood)
After a man has “known the house” of his father-in-law, he steps into another stage known as “Atogbo Nku” which literally means dropping of fire wood. In the process, the man caries a big bundle of fire wood to his mother-in-law and drops it in front of her house. This is usually in the evening of either Orie or Nkwo market day. The following day, Afor or Eke market day, he also carries a big log of fire wood to the father-in-law and drops the wood in front of the man’s house.
The wood, in both cases, is placed at conspicuous places in order to attract the attention of passers-by who, upon seeing it, will undoubtedly know that a girl in that particular house is engaged to be married. Following this, the intimacy of the man with his fiancé becomes so deep that the man can now pass nights in his girl’s house. “Dropping of fire wood” continued until the influence of western civilization reached Afikpo, following which, young men felt it was odd and demeaning for them to engage in such exercise.
In the course of time, the young men complained that it was degrading for them to carry firewood and logs of wood. They felt that such exercise was demeaning for men, although it suited the girls, naturally. The men implored parents of betrothed girls to find an alternative to Atogbo Nku. They were granted their request and were told to adopt the same process used in Amari Ulo by using smoked fish or stock fish and wine in lieu of fire wood. From then, the use of a stick of smoked fish or stock fish and palm wine became the vogue for Atogbo Nku.
In course of time other items like tobacco and potash, and in very recent times, cigarettes were added to the roster of permissible items for Atogbo Nku. Soon the use of the above items for Atogbo Nku was formalized and adopted as a customary marriage rite in the whole of Afikpo. It holds sway up to the present day.
Inyo Ozi or Ahia ozi (Undertaking of Labour or Work)
As a rule, suitors are responsible for the performance of some duties for their parents-in-law. They undertake jobs such as mending the leaking roofs of parents-in-laws’ houses. In the event of ill-health, the intending man is responsible for the payment of all hospital bills of the girl and her parents.
In the farming season, suitors are heavily involved in farm work for their parents-in-law. They clear bushes, make mounds for yams and cassava and even stake the yams at the appropriate time. Mound making for yams is the most essential duty of a suitor. He takes ten (10) or more men along with him to the father-in-law’s farm for mound making. This formal undertaking of farm work is usually a remarkable occasion. The father-in-law and the suitor are reciprocally involved. While the suitor and his men produce a very great piece of work in the farm, the father-in-law provides an elaborate entertainment for them at their return at home. Generally, a goat is slaughtered for the men. They are treated to a sumptuous dish of pounded yam and soup prepared with the goat. After that they are entertained with “Ochichi” made up of kola nuts and smoked fish. This is followed up with gallons of fresh palm wine and other assorted kinds of drinks. Neighbors, mostly Umunna or Umudi, generally share in the party. One pictures the party as a gathering of men of diverse ages and propensities inter-mingling to form a galaxy of happy-looking fellows.
At harvest time, they are also engaged in the harvest, carrying and laying yams in stakes in the yam barn. This process constituted the marriage rite of “Inyo Ozi” in the olden days. No money was used at that time.
Ime Eku (Adoba Eju Mai) – Bride Price
“Ime Eku”, bride price, is also known as ‘Adoba Eju mmai”. In Afikpo, a girl or woman is said to be married only when the bride price has been paid for her. Once the bride price is paid on a girl, she becomes the bona-fide wife of the suitor, even if she is still in her parent’s home.
It is known that the system of buying and selling in the olden days was by barter, (that is exchange of goods with goods). One would ask: by which means was bride price paid in that circumstance? At that time, yam was revered as sacred commodity and was highly prized. Marriage, being a sacred institution was undertaken with something sacred. This explains why it was used for the payment of bride price on a girl. Parents then demanded yam for the bride price of their daughters. There was no stipulated number and standardized size of the yams to be used. Every parent demanded and got whatever he demanded. The disparity in the number and size of yams received by individual parents sparked off a controversy which erupted into serious disagreement and confrontation that almost tore Afikpo asunder. As reasoning gradually prevailed, it pushed Afikpo elders to meet and fix a uniform number and size of yams to be used for bride price in the whole of Afikpo. Bride price became uniform in Afikpo.
In the course to time, cowries (ikiri
